I sat in the living room grieving. I am 29 yet I fell like I am 40. My hair has grown longer since that day eight years ago, it had also gotten darker. My eyes used be emerald green, but they hard darkened and lost their luster. Eight years ago, today I lost the one person I really loved. I looked up as I heard my children running down the stairs. I smiled at Tara as she ran past me. She had long blonde hair that reached her waist. She always asked me to braid it every morning. Her eyes were a stunning sapphire blue. She looked just like her mother. Tara was trying to get away from her brother Tommy who was older than her by a few minutes. Tommy had my green eyes and my thick red hair. He likes to keep it long; I am guessing he is trying to copy me. Right now, his hair reaches his shoulders and he keeps it back with a hair tie.

They were all I had left of Damien. He had sacrificed his life for our twins. I grabbed my children as they tried to run past me. Damien had died giving birth to them eight years ago. I hugged them and smiled when they started to tickle me. I started to tickle them back and we broke up when the front door opened. I sat up when Tara and Tommy ran to the door. They ran into the arms of their aunt Jen.

Jen was 18 now, she still kept her hair down to her waist like she used to when she first moved in with me and Damien. She lived with me and the twins until she was 16. The days she turned 16 I helped her move back into her parent’s house. After her parents had died, we learned the house was left to Jen and Damien. We made sure the house was kept in good shape over the years in case Jen wanted to live there. I stood up with a smile on his face. I walked over to Jen and hugged her. “How are you feeling kid?” I whispered into her ear.

“Better now that I have seen these two. I can’t get over how much Tara looks like Damien. She is a carbon copy of him, but in female form.” Jen laughed at her little joke. She looked back at Tara and Tommy. “Now, if my memory is correct, I think someone in this house is turning 8 today. I wonder who that is. I remember now, Jason is turning 8.” She smiled as her niece and nephew said no through laughter. “Is it me?” They laughed again. “Who is it, I can’t seem to remember.”

Tara looked up at Jen with a smile. “We are aunt Jen. Tommy and I are 8 today.” Jen noticed that Tara had Jason’s smile. That was the only thing making Tara different from her mom.

“Are you sure? I don’t think that is right.” She rubbed her chin as if thinking about it. “Wait! You are right. How could I forget such a thing? Maybe I am losing my mind already.” She smiled as the twins laughed at her. “Wait here, I have something outside.” Tara and Tommy looked at me as Jen went outside. I just shrugged. She came back a few minutes later with two bags. She handed one to Tara and the other to Tommy. Both kids sat on the floor and pulled wrapped boxes out of the bags. Jen smiled at me when they ripped through the wrapping paper in reckless abandon.

Tara ran over to me with a book in her hand. “Look daddy, aunt Jen got me a new book.” I took the book and looked at it. I smiled when I remembered that Damien used to read that same book to Jen at night when she couldn’t sleep. I handed it back to her and rubbed her head. “Will you read it to me daddy?” I smiled as I nodded. She ran back to her other gifts.

Tommy smiled as he saw the action figure Jen had gotten him. I was glad Jen was here for me today. We had talked about it and today I was gonna tell the twins about Damien. I waited until after they had gone through all their presents and they even had their cake. I was sitting on the couch holding a photo album. It had pictures of Damien when he was pregnant with them. I had not looked at the album since he died.

“Tara, Tommy come here. I want to show you something.” I smiled as they both ran to me and they both sat next to me on the couch. Tara was on my right and Tommy was on my left. “Guys, I want to tell you about your mom.” I opened the album and smiled at the first picture. It was a picture of Damien and me when we got out of high school.

Tara pointed to me. “Look, it’s daddy, but who is the other person with you daddy?” she and Tommy looked at me at the same time with the same amount of curiosity.

I pointed to Damien. I rubbed my finger over his face lovingly. “Well, that is your mom. His name is Damien. He was a great man. He meant everything to me.” Tara looked at the picture then at Jen.

“He looks like aunt Jen daddy.” She looked at the picture again.

“He looks like aunt Jen because she is his little sister.” I looked up at Jen as I said that. She frowned for a second before smiling again. “You look just like your mom Tara. You are an exact copy of your mom, but you have my smile.” I looked at Tommy as he studied to picture. I put my arm around his shoulder. “And you are an exact copy of me, but you have your mom’s attitude. I am sorry you both never got to meet your mom. He went through a lot for both of you.”

“What do you mean dad?” Tommy asked as he looked up at me. I looked at my kids then looked at Jen.

“Well, your mom cared about you so much. He wanted you both so much. We all knew that the pregnancy was risky, but your mom wanted to do it anyway. He went through so much. And 8 years ago, when you were born; he died. Your mom had a severe heart problem. He made sure you were both ok, then he died.” I looked down at the picture again.

I could swear I could hear Damien laughing in the other room as Tara and Tommy kicked him. It was one of the best memories I had. Damien was sitting on our bed with his hand over his stomach. I sat next to him and set my hand on his stomach. I smiled as I felt my son and daughter moving around. That was also the day we chose their names.

Damien was sitting there in nothing but a pair of shorts. I was amazed when I saw a foot press against Damien’s skin. He was 9 months pregnant and the doctor had him on restricted bed rest until the babies were born.

After that, everything went downhill. Damien clutched his stomach in pain as he had a strong contraction and his water broke. I grabbed the overnight bag and rushed him to the hospital. We arrived 20 minutes later. Damien could barely walk, his body kept getting assaulted with contractions that came one right after the other. I carried him into the emergency room and a nurse came over with a wheel chair. They wheeled him into a room and I never left his side. He cringed as another contraction ran through him. The entire time he was squeezing my hand as the pain never seemed to end. After 3 hours of painful contractions, he started to push. First, he gave birth to Tommy. The doctors set Tommy on his chest and gave him a few minutes with our son before he was whisked off by the prenatal staff. Next came Tara, for some reason delivering her was harder. But he did it and smiled at her when she was placed on his chest just like they did with her brother. Damien rubbed his hand across her head and kissed her.

They brought Tommy over and set him next to his sister. Damien kissed his son and his daughter one last time before his heart just gave out. The nurses took my children away as the doctors worked on trying to save Damien. I already knew it was too late. I cried as I looked at Damien, who looked so peaceful, I never thought this would happen. The doctors said there was a chance, but we had been optimistic for too long. I walked to the other side of the room and looked at my children lying in the little bassinets. I smiled at them as a tear came to my eye.

“Dad?” Both my kids were looking at me nervously. “Dad, are you ok?” Tara looked like she was gonna cry.

“Yeah, I’m ok. I was just remembering something. Sorry to scare you like that.” I hugged my kids to me and kissed their heads. I looked at Jen and I could swear I saw a tear in her eye. Jen was only 12 when Damien died. She took it so hard, but she was always there for me when I needed her. I showed them pictures from my graduation, when they saw Damien and me together they would just smile and hug me tighter. I finished showing them the pictures and telling them memories I had. Jen even told them of memories she had from before I met them. Later that day I got a real surprise.

“Daddy?” Tara looked up at me with her sapphire eyes.

“Yeah princess? What is it?” I asked as she sat in my lap.

“Daddy can we go to mom’s grave? I want to put something there.” I just nodded as tears filled my eyes. Tommy sat on my lap next to his sister and I rocked them gently. I wished with all my heart that they had been able to meet their mom. I knew they would have loved Damien as much as he loved them. Damien had committed the last few months of his life to making sure his children had a chance to live. Every day I saw more of Damien in our children. Tara already looked like him and Tommy had his mom’s personality. I could not ask for anything else. I loved my children with all my heart and I always would.

Later the say we went to Damien’s grave. Even Jen was there, she held a bouquet of yellow roses in her arms. Damien had always loved roses for as long as I could remember and yellow roses were his favorite. He said they reminded him of the sun. I smiled as I noticed the necklace Tara was wearing. It was the same necklace Jen had given Damien the day he moved in with me. It was the original necklace too. I recognized the chip in the stone from when he took the necklace off and it fell to the floor. The chip was never found and he left it that way. Jen must have noticed the necklace too cause her hand went to her mouth as her eyes widened in shock.

I put my arm around Tara and looked at her. “Where did you find that necklace princess?” I asked her as I caressed the stone between my fingers.

“It was in your room on your dresser. I hope you don’t mind me borrowing it daddy.” She said cautiously as if I was gonna punish her. “Am I in trouble daddy?”

“No princess, you’re not. I just have not looked at that necklace in a long time.” She looked confused. “It’s not my necklace; it was your mother’s. Your aunt Jen gave it to him the day he moved in with me. The last time I really saw that necklace was before you were born.” I smiled and kissed her cheek. “Make sure you put the necklace back when we get home ok?” She nodded at me.

Tara looked at Jen. “Is that true aunt Jen? Did you give this necklace to my mom?” Jen just nodded as she smiled and a tear streamed down her cheek. “So that is why I wanted to wear it. It was mom’s.” Tara believed that things happen for a reason. She believed that if you were late for something that there was a reason why. “I always see it on your dresser, but I never wanted to wear it before.” She rubbed her thumb across the purple stone at the end of the chain. I let Tara go and she stood beside her brother as I led them to Damien’s grave. Jen stood beside me and we kept looking over our shoulders to check on the kids. Tara kept leaning against Tommy as if him letting her go would make her fall.

I stopped when we were a few feet away from the grave. I hadn’t been there in a while, but there was another bouquet of roses on the tombstone, a bouquet of red and pink roses. I figured they came from my mom, she told me she came here sometimes. Tara walked up to me and hugged me. Tommy grabbed my hand. “Are you ok dad?” He asked as he looked at me with worrying eyes. I just nodded and led them forward to Damien’s grave. I kneeled in front of the tombstone and pressed a kiss to my fingers before touching them to the tombstone.

I smiled as Tara and Tommy copied my show of affection. Jen walked forward and placed her bouquet next to the other. Jen put her hand on my shoulder and I smiled at her to show I was ok. I looked at Tara as she pulled an envelope out of her pocket, she opened the envelop revealing a little dream catcher I remember her making a while ago. She put it in the tree over Damien’s grave. I hugged my kids as they cried over the mother then never knew. “Hey you two how about we go out for a little ice cream, your dad will catch up with us.” I looked at Jen to thank her; she understood and shook her head.

Tara and Tommy looked at me. “Go ahead; I will catch up with you guys later ok?” They nodded and hugged me before going off with Jen. I made sure they were not close enough to hear me before I looked back at the tombstone. “They have gotten so big Damien. Tommy acts a lot like you and Tara has your looks. Tara found your necklace, she looks beautiful with it. I am surprised that it has been 8 years. I told them about you and what you did for them. Jen moved out 2 years ago. She lives in your parents house now. It is so lonely without you Damien. I never loved anyone like I love you, well you and our kids. Jen watches them for me sometimes. She told them about how you were with her before I met you.” I wiped the tears from my eyes. “I really wish you could have met them Damien. They have always loved you, even when they didn’t know who you were. Well I have to go love; we are having a birthday party for them. Every year Jen and I take them out for ice cream.” I stood and laid a kiss on the tombstone the same way I had before. I walked back to my car with tears streaming down my face. I met Jen and the kids at their favorite ice cream parlor.

Every year from that date on, I would take the kids to “see” Damien. They always left something behind for their mom. It always made my heart melt the way they acted towards their mom since they never got to meet him. I always thought that on some level they remember Damien. I just hope I am right.