If I Only Knew

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Topic: If I Only Knew

ElviraTepes

Honored Contributor

Status: Offline

Posts: 1445

Date: Sun Feb 27 9:19 AM, 2011

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Falcon walked to the park and sat on hi favorite bench. He pulled out his cigarettes and inhaled deeply as he lit one. He blew the smoke out with a sigh of content. He smiled when he saw Wolf in the distance. He stood and waved.

Wolf quickened his pace when he saw Falcon. He went to Falcon and put a hand on his shoulder. "Hey Falcon what a surprise to see you here. I thought you were going to your dad's for the weekend." Falcon shrugged and took a drag from his cigarette. "Well I'm glad things changed, I got kinda lonely and decided to go for a walk." Wolf blushed. "Maybe we can go see a movie together."

"Sure, you name what you want to see and we'll go." He threw the cigarette to the ground and put it out. "Lead the way." Both boys walked out of the park side by side. They bought tickets for an action movie and sat in the back row. The movie started and neither really paid attention to it. The entire time they were touching each other. After a while, Falcon straddled Wolf in the cramped seat. Both boys tried to keep silent as they made out. Wolf came and Falcon leaned against him.

Wolf looked into Falcon's eyes. "Are you ok?" Falcon nodded as he tried to catch his breath. When they both were breathing normally Falcon got off Wolf and went to his own seat. After 10 minutes of trying to watch the movie and failing, they went back to the park. Falcon sat on a table and Wolf sat between Falcon's legs on the bench. Falcon was playing with Wolf's hair when Wolf sighed. "Falcon I need to tell you something."

Falcon leaned down to look at Wolf's face. Wolf clearly looked upset. "What's wrong?"

"Falcon, I'm moving away in a month." He looked down at his hands. "Mom was offered a job in Talent, Oregon and she accepted." He sniffed as tears threatened to flood his eyes. "I wish I didn't have to go, but I have no choice." He turned and put his arms around Falcon's waist. "I don't want to leave you." He cried into Falcon's shirt.

Falcon rubbed Wolf's back. "Oh Wolf, I'm so sorry. But you won't lose me, we can still talk over the phone and we can IM. I am gonna make this the best month of your life." He hugged Wolf and they sat there till the clock in town struck midnight. Falcon walked Wolf home and kissed him good night on the porch. "I love you Wolf." Wolf turned and ran into the house.

~~~~

Over the past month, Wolf and Falcon spent as much time together as possible. The day had come for Wolf to leave. Both boys sat on the swing on Falcon's deck. Wolf was leaning his head on Falcon's shoulder and Falcon had his arm around Wolf. All day both boys had been sitting on the deck in each other's arms. Wolf sat up when Maureen called him. "Come on Wolf, we have to go."

Both boys stood, Wolf threw his arms around Falcon for one last hug. Falcon hugged him before putting his hand under Wolf's chin forcing Wolf to raise his head. Falcon lowered his head and kissed Wolf passionately. "Don't forget me."

"I won't, I'll call you when we get there." He hugged Falcon one last time before walking away with his head hung low.

"Wolf wait!" Falcon ran down the steps to Wolf. He put his hands behind his neck and removed his necklace. He put the necklace on Wolf and smiled. "Now you have a piece of me. Take good care of that necklace, a man I love gave it to me a few years ago."

Wolf smiled and removed his pinky ring. He grabbed Falcon's hand and put it on him. "And a piece of me." Falcon smiled. I gotta go, I promise to call upon arrival."

"Alright, I'll be waiting." They hugged one last time before Wolf got in the car. Falcon watched the car drive away until he couldn't see it anymore. He went up to his room and sat on his bed playing with the ring on his finger. At midnight, Falcon's phone rang. He answered it on the first ring. He talked to Wolf till 1 AM. He hung up and went to sleep knowing the man he loves is safe.

~8 months Later~

Everyday Falcon and Wolf talked either by phone or IM. Even though they were far apart, they still stayed committed to each other. Neither boy went to another person for pleasure or love; they stayed true to each other. One day they were chatting on IM.

Falcon: hey Wolf, how r things going
Wolf: good, mom has a bf now
Falcon: serious
Wolf: yea
Falcon: holy shit
Wolf: I know, the guy wants me to call him dad
Falcon: no way, I would ignore him
Wolf: I can't mom says I shouldn't b rude

Falcon puffed on his cigarette as he continues to talk to his love. After 2 hours of talking, they signed off for the night. Falcon laid on his bed as he thought of his love. He missed seeing Wolf and he missed the way Wolf laughed when Falcon nibbled on his ear. He fell asleep with Wolf on the brain.

~~~~

2 days later while swimming in his pool Falcon felt a strong cramp in his abdomen. It was strong enough to make him sink to the bottom of the pool in pain. Once the cramp subsided, he swam to the surface and went to the patio to sit down. 5 minutes later the cramp returned but it was stronger. He walked into the house clutching his stomach. "MOM!" Althea ran to him wondering why he was yelling she found him curled in a ball on the floor groaning in pain.

"Oh my god, Falcon!" she kneeled beside him and put a hand to his brow. When he groaned, again she helped him up and led him to the car so she could drive him to the hospital. They walked into the emergency room and Althea signed him in.

5 minutes later he was in an exam room, the doctor was about to do a sonogram on his stomach to see if he had internal bleeding. When the doctor ran to wand over Falcon's stomach, he was shocked. "Falcon, you're in labor." Falcon looked at the doctor in shock. "You're 38 weeks pregnant and in labor."

"No, please tell me you're kidding." The doctor shook his head. "No! I've been smoking!" he groaned when another contraction hit him. "Will the kid be ok?" He looked nervous.

"I won't know until the baby is born." The doctor turned off the monitor and led Falcon to the labor and delivery floor. They got him situated before checking his dilation. "Falcon you're 7 cm."

"Oh my god, get my mom in here, I need her in here." As the doctor went to get his mother, he thought of the one man he knew was his child's father. After another ½ hour, it was time to push.

"Falcon, you need to push as hard as you can. With the next contraction bear down as hard as you can." Falcon nodded and awaited the contraction. When the contraction bombarded him, he pushed with all his strength. He felt the baby slowly descending. "You're doing great Falcon, deep breath and push again." Falcon obeyed and felt the baby crowning. He screamed as his body stretched to allow the release of his child. He laid back when he felt the child leave his body. The doctor cut the umbilical cord and took the baby to be examined.

"Is my baby ok?" Althea stood by him holding his hand. He felt nervous; the baby had yet to cry. A nurse took the baby to clean and examine it. He saw an oxygen mask put near his child's face. The nurse flicked the baby's foot and a high-pitched cry filled the room. Falcon sighed as he listened to hi child crying. The doctor removed the placenta and went to check on the child. Falcon looked at Althea as tears streamed down his face.

5 minutes later the doctor walked over with the baby wrapped in a blanket and wearing a tiny hat. "Falcon you have a healthy daughter." He handed the baby to Falcon and smiled. "I am surprised she is in such good health since you were smoking and you had no prenatal care. For a person who had no idea he was pregnant you got lucky."

Falcon looked at his daughter and smiled. "Hey cutie, you are a real surprise to me. I never even knew you existed till an hour ago, and now look at us, we're bonding." The baby looked at him and cooed. "You need a name sweet pea." He looked at his mom and smiled. "I know, I'll name you Mara. I wonder what your daddy is gonna think about you Mara." He kissed his daughters head. "You will always be safe Mara, I promise."

"Hey Falcon look at me." Althea said with a smile. Falcon looked up to see her holding up the digital camera she brought everywhere. Falcon smiled at her when she took the picture. "She is beautiful Falcon. Falcon is Wolf her father?"

Falcon looked at his daughter before answering. "Yeah, a month before he moved away we made out. He is the only person I made out with." Althea walked over to him and took a picture of just Mara. "Mom, do you think Wolf will like his daughter?"

"I don't know baby, I really can't say. All you can do is hope for the best." She hugged him and smiled when he handed Mara to her. "And Falcon?" he looked at her. "I'm very proud of you, you did the right thing taking responsibility like you did when they told you about Mara." She kissed Falcon and rocked Mara when Falcon fell asleep.

~~~~

Althea drove her son and granddaughter home. Falcon carried Mara up to his room and smiled when he saw his mom had moved in a crib. He walked over to the crib and smiled. He laid Mara in it and turned on his computer. He took his mother's digital camera from his pocket and uploaded the pictures of his daughter onto the computer. He was about to turn off the computer when he received and IM from Wolf.

Wolf: hey, where have u been the past 2 days? u weren't online and when I called ur cell I got voicemail.
Falcon: I was in the hospital
Wolf: 4 what

Falcon emailed him the picture of Mara.

Wolf; cute baby, who gave birth
Falcon: I did, her name is Mara
Wolf: what do u mean u gave birth? Did you cheat on me?
Falcon: no, ur the only person I made out w/ and u know it. Mara is ur daughter Wolf
Wolf: how
Falcon: do u remember the night we made out at the movies
Wolf: of course
Falcon: well I gave birth 2 days ago to Mara. I didn't know I was pregnant and I was 38 weeks along when I went into labor in my pool.
Wolf: so I'm really her dad
Falcon; yes

Falcon looked towards the crib when Mara cried.

Falcon: brb she's crying
Wolf: k

Falcon walked to the crib and picked up Mara. "Hey princess you're ok. Don't cry." Falcon looked at the door for his room when his mom stood there with a bottle. "Mom you're a lifesaver." He took the bottle and started to feed Mara. He smiled when she started to drink. He looked at his computer when it beeped signaling a new IM. "Mom can u read to me what it says? And possibly type replies for me? I was in the middle of telling Wolf about Mara when she started crying."

"Sure baby." Althea walked to the computer and sat in the chair.

Wolf: is she ok?
Falcon; she is fine, she is hungry
Wolf: ur typing while feeding her
Falcon: no, this is Althea. Falcon is feeding her and I am playing secretary
Wolf: oh. So is Mara healthy and everything
Falcon: yeah, she was born 8 lbs 3 ounces and 18 inches long
Wolf: omg, so Falcon smoking didn't hurt her
Falcon: no she got lucky. She is perfectly healthy
Wolf; thank god

When Mara was done feeding, he rocked her to sleep before putting her back in her crib. Falcon thanked Althea for the help and went back to talking to Wolf.

Falcon: hey I'm back
Wolf: I wish I was there so I could hold her
Falcon; so do I, she needs to meet her father
Wolf: I know, I feel so bad leaving u there alone w/ our daughter
Falcon: it's ok, I have mom to help me
Wolf: yeah I guess. So ur mom says she is a big baby.
Falcon: yeah, I have more pics of her if u want them
Wolf: oh I want them
Falcon: ok, I'm gonna email them

Falcon sent all the pictures he has of Mara.

Falcon: did you get them
Wolf: yeah, she is beautiful
Falcon; thanks
Wolf: so ur a skinny guy by nature how did u not get a big baby belly
Falcon: I have no idea, the Dr. said that it is probably cause I carried my pregnancy towards the back of my uterus. And I had no morning sickness, no craving and no mood swings. I didn't even gain weight.
Wolf: oh wow, I feel bad for u, I really do
Falcon: don't I'm fine
Falcon: listen I gtg. Seeing as Mara will cry a lot @ night I have to go to sleep. Ttyl ok?
Wolf: ok, give her a kiss for me ok?
Falcon: I will, by Wolf

Falcon logged off and looked at his daughter once more before lying on his bed and going to sleep. Falcon was smart going to bed early cause Mara woke him up every hour. She either wanted to be fed, changed, or cuddled. When Mara cried, again at 6 AM he stayed up for the rest of the day. He walked to the kitchen with Mara in his arms. Althea smiled at him and took Mara as he at his breakfast. He smiled when Mara yawned, he watched his mother feed Mara and noticed Mara trusted her grandmother completely.

"So Falcon, I am guessing you got very little sleep?" Falcon nodded. "Well if you want to take any naps today tell me and I will babysit for you. I remember what it was like when you first came home. You acted just like Mara." Falcon nodded.

"I am lucky if I got 3 hours of sleep last night. How did you handle it? I mean you raised me on your own and we are both still alive, what was your secret?" Falcon looked at Mara when she cooed and bend her fingers.

"Just like you I had my mother to help me. So what did Wolf say about Mara?" Althea set the bottle on the table and began to burp Mara.

"He seems happy, I mean he's acting like I did when they told me I was giving birth. I love Mara with all my heart and it seems like Wolf does too, but what if he only feels like he is obligated to do something. I want him to really love her mom. I don't want him to be forced to love his own daughter." He put his plate in the sink and took Mara from his mom. He kissed her cheek as she fell asleep in his arms. "He says he wishes he was here but do you really think he will do anything about it?"

"I don't know Falcon, he may come he may not. Maybe he will show up and maybe he will do nothing. I have no way of knowing what he will really do baby, all you can do it hope for the best." Althea hugged her son and kissed his cheek.

"Thanks mom, I'm gonna go sit with Mara in the living room. Keep an eye on me and make sure I don't fall asleep while I'm holding her ok?" Althea nodded. "Thanks again mom." He walked to the living room and sat on the couch with his daughter.

He looked at Mara and noticed she had Wolf's amazingly blue eyes and his nose. She has Falcon's dark hair. Falcon laughed when Mara kicked her feet in her sleep. "Well Ms. Mara what am I gonna do with you huh? I'm have to get a job, I can't work right now but I will get a job." Falcon walked back to the kitchen. "Mom can you watch Mara, I'm gonna go outside for a cigarette." Althea nodded and took her granddaughter.

Falcon went out to the deck and lit a cigarette. He looked around and smiled because his daughter would grow up in a good town. He remembered how it was growing up in the town he called home. He had lived in the town for the entire 17 years of his life. He sat on the swing he and Wolf had sat on the day Wolf moved away. He remembered the gift exchanged and smiled. "Wolf you gave me more than a pinky ring. You gave me a real part of you." He sighed and looked out towards the street. He took one last puff off his cigarette before putting it out and heading back to his daughter.

Falcon spent all day lavishing Mara in love. he wanted her to know she would always be loved no matter what. She was his little Angel and he planned on letting her know that. He would always smile when Mara was just being Mara. He would never have guessed that a baby could bring such joy to his life. He kissed her head before lying her in her crib for her nap.

~1 Month Later~

There was a knock at the door and Falcon went to answer it with Mara. He got a shock when he opened the door. Standing on his deck was Wolf. Falcon put a hand over his mouth and tried to hide the tears streaming down his face. "Wolf what are you doing here?" He hugged Wolf making sure to be careful of Mara. "Please come in." They went into the living room and sat on the couch.

"I came to see Mara. Can I hold her?" Falcon nodded cause he was too emotional to say anything. He handed Mara to Wolf and smiled. "Hi Mara, I'm your dad." He kissed Mara's brow and smiled at Falcon. "I told you I would come didn't I?" Falcon nodded. "Well I'm here to stay. I left mom and her boyfriend behind. Now all that matters to me is you and Mara."

Falcon wiped a tear from his eye. "You have no idea how happy I am to see you. I really thought it was just gonna be me and Mara. I was doubting if you would really help me or not. I feel bad admitting that but it is true." Marie gasped when she came into the living room. "Hey mom, look who I found on the deck." Althea hugged Wolf and smiled at him. "Mom, Wolf needs a place to stay. Can he stay here with me and Mara?"

"Of course he can, are you both gonna share you room Falcon?" he nodded. "Alright, it is good that Mara has both her parents around." Althea smiled one last time before leaving the little family alone.

"So Falcon, I know I missed the first month of Mara's life but do you think I can have a chance to see the rest of it?" Falcon nodded and hugged Wolf. "Thank you so much Falcon. And I am really sorry that you had to handle the first month of Mara's life without me." Falcon shrugged. "Why are you always a calm person Falcon? Please tell me you at least freaked when you learned you were giving birth to Mara."

"I was freaked out. Like I had told you I had no idea I was pregnant so I smoked everyday. I didn't change any of my habits and I had no prenatal care either. We just got lucky, but that is the past now. All I care about is our future, Mara." Falcon took Mara and kissed her until she laughed.

"And Wolf?" Wolf looked up at him with a smile. "You left me more than a ring, I got a real piece of you." Wolf nodded and looked at his daughter sleeping in her mother's arms.

~4 Years Later~

Wolf walked into the house and was attacked by Mara. "Hi daddy, how was work?" he lifted Mara up onto his hip and kissed her cheek.

"Hi Mara, where is your momma?" He nuzzled Mara's neck as she laughed. She pointed towards the kitchen and he headed that way still carrying her. "You sure momma is in the kitchen?" She nodded and he opened the kitchen door. Sure enough there was Falcon by the stove cooking something. Wolf set Mara on the floor. "Why don't you go play with your toys honey? I want to talk to your momma alone." Mara nodded and ran to her room. Wolf walked up behind Falcon and put his arms around him. "Hey sexy, how are you feeling?"

Falcon turned and you can see his stomach is round and very noticeable. "I feel ok, I am glad that this time we know I am pregnant. I don't want another Mara scenario. Where is Mara anyway? She is usually running under my feet." He looked around for his daughter.

"She is playing with her toys in her room." He put a hand over Falcon's rounded stomach. "So is the baby really attacking today or is it kinda subdued?" Falcon shrugged. "Ah whatever, I am just glad we get another baby. So how about we go find Mara and play with out little girl?" Falcon nodded and they went to find Mara.

~FIN~

__________________

--Blade on the floor, Blood on her wrist, She'll never know, How much she'll be missed--

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