Woody was one of my friends from college.  As his name suggested, he was an outdoorsman.  He majored in horticulture and always loved being outside.  Through his years of living in his family's cabin in upstate PA, he had grown tall (6'4'') and strong (weighing almost 220 lbs).  We became quick friends as freshmen, and even lived together the last two years of school.  When graduation came, Woody got offers from major corporations for great paying positions.  He decided he really just wanted to live off the land that his family had upstate; to grow his own food, live self sufficiently, and not set foot on concrete if he could avoid it!

I thought he was crazy to do it, but it was his nature to be in nature.  The first year he did it he loved it.  We would talk every few weeks and he would let me know about chopping wood, growing fruits and vegetables, hunting, and living off the land.  He did confess to me that he was a bit lonely and tried each time to convince me to come up and live with him.  I was enjoying my life and job in the city, so that was not an option.

The second March Woody was out there he called me with news.  He found out he was pregnant!  Woody never told me much about his social life, or if he even had one, but he did confess to going to town (about a 2 hours drive) and going to a bar, meeting a guy, and the rest they say is history.  He found out he was pregnant and was going to the clinic a few hours away for check ups (which he rarely made).  I’m sure he was trying to guilt me into staying with him, and normally I would have agreed to come for just a few short visits, but this time was different. 

I recently lost my high paying job and the economy being what it was, I couldn’t afford to live in the city any more.  Maybe this was the break I needed to refocus.  I wasn’t a nature person at all, but I had a friend in need, and with Woody's due date sometime in September, I thought I could probably use a few months away.

When I got up there, I couldn’t really tell that Woody was pregnant.  At that point he was only about 4 months along, but didn’t look all that big.  He had always had a 6 pack in college, but now he just had a small beer belly.  I couldn’t even really tell when he had his trademark flannel shirt on, but when he was walking around in just shorts it was obvious there was a change in his mid section.  The work on the farm kept him pretty active, so I’m sure that’s why he hadn’t gained that much weight.  He told me that the baby was pretty good timing, because he had all summer to ramp up his food harvesting so that he could enjoy the fall and the last weeks of his pregnancy without having to do any strenuous work.  He also implied that I’d be a big help with the manual labor!

The months came and went and I got used to life away from civilization.  By summer, I had gotten the hang of things.  Woody was starting to slow down as the pregnancy took its toll on his body.  At 6 months I think he was surprised at how much the added weight was taxing his body.  He had probably gained about 25 lbs at this point, and it was all in his belly.  Not being shy, Woody continued to work around the farm in just shorts. 

His body was still pretty amazing.  Muscles bulged from every inch of him.  From behind you couldn’t even tell he was pregnant, but when he turned around it was obvious.  He looked like he had swallowed a ball.  The baby was being carried pretty high, which was good for Woody, because he could still manage to wear the shorts he had before.  At night we would watch the baby tumble and twist inside his belly.  I’d poke at one side of his gut and watch the baby shift to the other, that was usually followed by a swift kick to Woody's ribs. 

I could see him slowing down with each passing week.  Bending down to milk the cows became an almost impossible chore for him.  Lowering himself to that little stool was literally a pain in his back, and getting up was even worse.  I could see him rubbing his back often to relieve the tense muscles that held the baby in place.

Woody rarely went to a free clinic for check ups and because of that they never really had good records of the last time he came in.  It seemed like every time we would come in they would give us a new due date.  At 6 months along, they would tell him he was 5, and when we would go back a month later, he would be at 5 and a half.  There was no arguing with the nurses, they did measurements based on the size of the baby's head and send us on our way. 

The weeks passed and September came and went, and no baby.  By the time October rolled around, Woody had been pregnant for 10 months.  While he was getting bigger and bigger, he still wasn’t huge.  He had gained about 40 lbs at this point, and was still carrying the baby pretty high.  It looked like it was going to be a long time before it was ready to be born.  We went to the clinic to ask them what was going on, and they confirmed that the baby was ready to come out.  The doctor wasn’t concerned about the baby's size, it was still around 10 lbs, and Woody could have easily delivered a 13 pounder.  He did say that they would induce if he hadn’t gone into labor in 2 weeks. 

Woody was not one for medical intervention.  He was of the belief that his body would do what was necessary, when necessary.  I tried to convince him to listen to the doctor, but there was no doing that.  The two week mark came and went, and we entered November.  At Woody's calculations he had been pregnant for almost 11 months. 

On the plus side, the baby had dropped into Woody's hips, but that was the only indication that the baby was coming any time soon.  We had done some research online, and found that the longest pregnancy was almost a year. 

By December, Woody was miserable.  The baby was pretty big at this point, we didn’t know the size because Woody refused to go to the doctor, because they would induce him.  His skin was so stretched that he had started to get stretch marks on the sides and underside of his belly.  They were faint, but still were an indication of his sheer size.  The belly stuck out sharply from his body.  It jutted out from his still visible ribs and came back in sharply at this groin. 

Because all the food had been harvested, we spent our time in the house reading, playing games, talking, watching movies.  None of which Woody enjoyed because of the stress his body was under.  Each movement of the baby was substantial; he could feel every little flutter.  I would hear him groan constantly as the baby shifted.  Woody didn’t have a good pattern of sleep.  I’d hear him up at all hours of the night waddling around the house trying to lull the baby to sleep.  He would sleep for a couple hours at a time, then be woken up by a kick.

New years came and went, and Woody had been pregnant for a year now.  He was just miserable.  He would spend all of his time in a pair of boxers on the couch, or in his bed.  All I could do was stare at him and watch his massive belly shift and move.  It sat like a beach ball on his lap, and would always be in a state of motion, I’m not sure the baby ever slept.  One night he finally agreed that the following week we would go to the doctor, we were both starting to get nervous Woody wouldn’t be able to get the baby out if he went into labor. 

We never did get a chance to go to the doctor.