Part II
======
Karen's voice continued to call out from the hustling mall outside, concern continuing to grow in her voice, her worry evident. I hated that, but I was terrified of calling out to her at the same time, since she'd doubtlessly insist on seeing me, and that was out of the question unless I came up with some brilliant idea on how to hide my pregnancy from her. I was fresh out of epiphanies though; I didn't know what to do at this point, and my cheeks flushed at the thought of going outside and letting her see me like this.

Outside, I thought I could make out the tidbits of a conversation between her and someone else suddenly springing into being, a masculine voice calmly asking her questions in reply to her scared countenance. “...you're sure he's in there?” the guy asked.

Her voice sounded unsure, but she replied quickly. “I..I think so. This was the last place he mentioned going to, and the restrooms at the other end of the mall are closed down for maintenance.”

“Well, I can go in and check it out for you if you want,” the man replied slowly, a subtle hinting somehow hidden underneath his words. I'd heard that kind of tone before, most often used by guys while hitting on girls in bars. My blood started to run hot as I realized the guy was trying to pick up my wife. What kind of a scumbag would try to take advantage of a woman when she was so obviously distressed?

“Oh, would you please?” She sounded both desperate and thankful, as well as clueless about the man's intentions.

“No problem at all,” the guy went on, trying to sound comforting. “If he isn't in there, maybe I could take you to one of the coffee shops on the upper level and you can tell me what happened...”

Please, please don't say yes Karen, I begged silently.

“Ummm...I don't know,” she said after a moment's consideration, making me wince. “Would you please just go in and see if he's there?” she asked.

A shuffling of feet told me that the guy obviously thought he'd gotten somewhere, his tread entering the restroom a second later. Thinking fast, I pulled my feet up and braced them against the stall door, a good idea once I realized that I'd forgotten to throw the latch earlier. A quick glance down showed me that nothing was hanging down for prying eyes to take note of, so I held my breath and tried to be as quiet as possible.

“Hello...?” the man's voice called out curiously, and I heard his footsteps stop briefly before my stall before passing on. “Anybody in here?”

Nope, nobody here buddy. Nobody at all; just ignore the pregnant man behind stall #1, I thought nervously as I bit my lip, trying to project my will upon the guy to get the hell out.

My heart nearly leaped up my throat as he suddenly knocked on the stall door next to me, then a few moments later paused, then knocked on mine. I winced as I felt my stomach tying itself up in knots, sweat beading on my forehead. A wave of dizziness swept over me, and I couldn't surpress a small gasp as both hands went to my swollen belly.

I heard the footsteps that had been walking past stop and begin retreating back to my stall, but I couldn't summon the will to care; my insides felt like they were on fire. Gritting my teeth, I put one arm against the stall to keep from falling over when I suddenly felt a tingling sensation creeping over my skin.

Looking down, I was shocked to see that the pregnant orb of my belly was slowly beginning to diminish, it's generous arch starting to flatten out as my stomach receeded back to it's former shape. My breasts weren't far behind as the slowly deflated back to the rigid pecs that I had sported all my life.

“Hey, is somebody in there?” I heard just a bare second before the stall door swung inward, revealing a man's dubious face staring at me from a few feet away. Shit, I'd forgotten about the latch!

Disgusted at the sight of a potential date ruined, the man turned on his heel and walked out of the restroom, muttering to himself. I stared after his retreating back, then glanced down at myself once more, accutely aware of the cool air of the air-conditioning unit in the corner flowed across my once again masculine physique.

Pulling my ruined shirt tightly about me, I stood up and went over to he mirror, staring at my reflection as if waiting for a ripple on the surface that would somehow show me pregnant again. Nothing changed though. I was me. I was normal.

“I've gone nuts,” I whispered quietly, not hearing someone enter behind me. “If you're going to start doing something weird man, would you go somewhere else?” Spinning around, I saw a young teenager, around fifteen go over to the urinal after throwing me a glance. Breathing a sigh of relief, I quickly buttoned my shirt back up and splashed some water on my face. “Sure, sorry, just got a lot on my mind, you know?” He grunted in reply.

Tearing my gaze away from the mirror, I hurried back out of the restroom into the main plaza and stood still for a moment, looking around for Karen.

She nearly bowled me over as I stepped out of the alcove, so hard did she rush into my arms. “Chris!” I hugged her back tightly as she squeezed me, before she pushed me back and stared at me, concern still evident on her face. “Baby, are you okay? I was so worried when you took off running like that,” she said, putting a hand on my face.

“I'm okay, I just...I had to throw up,” I lied as she stared at me, feeling guilty at not being truthful with her, but too scared to be honest. I know I wouldn't have believed it myself if it hadn't actually happened to me.

“But are you okay now?” I nodded as she helped me over to a bench and sat down beside me. “I tried to follow after you, but I lost track of you pretty quick.” She took a napkin out of her purse and handed it to me. “I ran across this one girl sitting in the middle of the plaza looking like she'd seen a ghost or something,” she said quietly, putting one arm around my waist and leaning into me.

“Yeah, I think I ran into her earlier.” I put my arm around her shoulders and squeezed gently as I recalled crashing into the young woman earlier. I hoped she wasn't still around. “I'm sorry to have worried you like that.” Glancing around, I saw that we were actually on the other end of the mall, opposite of where we'd come in at. Close to the mens outlet actually, I noticed as I glanced behind me and saw the sign hanging above us. “Honey, would it be okay if we got me fitted for that suit some other time? I just don't feel well today.”

Karen simply nodded and hugged me tight.

We made it back home without incident, and the rest of the week passed pretty quickly as I settled back into my normal routine. Karen seemed to forget the whole thing with barely a second thought, but I found that every time I passed a mirror, I often found my gaze drawn to it's depths, searching for something that I'd never even considered before. I wasn't actually yearning to be pregnant again, was I?

But try as I might, I couldn't ever seem to completely dismiss the idea from my head, and every time it popped up, it seemed to trigger more of a gut reaction. I found myself wondering how many kids I wanted to have, whether or not Karen would like the way I looked, what kind of clothes I'd have to buy.

But that was all it was, just me wondering what it would be like to be pregnant again, and going on with my usual activities. Until a couple of weeks later that is, when I got a little more insight into what was in store for me...

-- Edited by inflateman123 on Monday 21st of February 2011 03:40:28 PM

Well, Loner isn't around the community anymore (at least not that I know of); so unless someone else picks it up, I doubt it will ever be finished.

Hey someone else is welcome to run with this, if they so desire.

>.>

<.<

Wow, I'm kind of surprised anyone still has a copy of this - I wrote it over ten years ago.  I am grateful someone archived it though, and thank you for the kind words.  If you guys want, I can try to dig up the scraps I had lying around for the next chapter and try to progress the plot a little further.

Just whatever is easiest - since inflateman123 already made the effort to post it, I guess I'll go ahead and continue it here.

Loner:
Wonderful! can't wait to read more of this story!.

Hi guys,

Here's the second chapter to the story (many thanks to inflateman123 for posting the first part). I'm really sorry it took me so long to get this up, I'm a very slow writer, and I don't have much free time these days.

Also, I apologize for the poor quality of writing, it's been years since I've written anything.

Hope you enjoy.

~~~~~~~~~~

Flash.

I wanted to turn away, turn over, anything to go back to the wonderful sleep that didn't have all this pestering brilliance that forced me further and further into wakefulness.

Flash.

Why did I want to go back to sleep? A distant sensation suddenly made itself known to me, and it made me want to flinch. Pain, that was it. Back to sleep, away from the pain.

I began to thrash helplessly as the sharp stabs of pain began to resolve themselves into waves of agonizing cramps that tore through my being. From far away, it seemed as though I could feel someone grabbing one of my arms, and then there was a sting that radiated a warm, liquid fire through my veins.

 

As it spread though, the pain also began to diminish, and was soon replaced by a comfortable feeling of lightness, as if I were drifting through clouds.

 

Another flash overhead, and I slowly began to realize what they were – light fixtures.

Fixtures?

 

As my mind started to gradually make it's way back to cognizance, the sensation of speed suddenly crept up on me.

 

“...examination room three...not the side elevator damnit! Not enough room...”

 

Fuzzy lights swam around, forcing me to blink. I tried to sit up, but a pair of hands held me down firmly. “...not yet honey, you just stay down for the moment.”

 

I began to notice a bunch of hazy figures around me at the same time I realized I was somehow moving, being pushed along.

 

“Where the hell is the doctor...?! This one isn't going to wait...”

 

As the world around me came into focus, I realized I was lying prone on what seemed to be stretcher – and one that was flying down a hallway at breakneck speeds too. “Wha-? Where am I?” I said slowly, having trouble concentrating.

 

Karen's face suddenly appeared above me, her features animated, anxious. “I'm right here baby, everything is going to be okay.” She squeezed my hand tightly. “The nurses say that you're doing fine.”

 

My confusion must have shown on my face, because she continued in a soothing voice, “Remember? The bathroom? Your water broke and so we rushed over here...”

 

I had broken my water? I hadn't realized I was carrying any water. As I stared up into Karen's beautiful face, I realized what must be going on – we were doing a roleplay. Karen had always loved kinky roleplaying games.

 

“Sure honey, I'll be your waterboy,” I slurred cheerily, my head rolling to one side. I couldn't seem to control my body very well, but I did manage a faint smile.

 

This only seemed to make Karen look even more worried as she looked up at the man on the other side of me, her face contorted with panic. “What is he talking about?”

 

The serious-looking man in scrubs shook his head. “He's fine, just delusional. Lot's of mothers come in that way, and the pain medication probably added to it."

 

“Hey buddy, don't mess with the waterboy, I broke my water, I can break yours too,” I slurred, flopping my head over to the other side. This was kind of fun actually – the world swam and then reassembled itself, making me giggle.

 

We passed through a set of double doors then, and the stretcher jerked to a halt. There was a flurry of activity and I could vaguely feel myself being lifted up, and then set back down hurriedly, Karen still squeezing my hand all the while.

 

“Damnit, where in the hell is Dr. Keans?” the serious-looking man demanded of a nearby nurse. “She was paged nearly thirty minutes ago!” As one of the other nurses helped him into a set of surgical scrubs, he turned to Karen and his demeanor softened slightly. “Don't worry Mrs. Mathews, even without the head of the maternity ward here, we still have some of the best trained staff on the east coast.”

 

Maternity ward? Aha! I was in a hospital. Wait, why was I in a hospital?

 

Oh yeah, I remembered with another giggle, the roleplay. Karen had really gone all-out on this one.

 

I lost sight of her then, as what seemed like a tidal wave of nurses quickly stripped me of my sweatpants and then my shirt. “Whoa, hey ladies, there's enough of me to go around, no need to be in a hurry,” I murmured playfully, grateful that they'd at least left me my underwear.

 

That much, at least, earned me a momentary foul look from Karen and a sharp pinch on the arm.

 

Although the pinch didn't hurt very much, I still briefly winced at the gesture.

 

Grinning stupidly up at one of the nurses, I said, “See? That's my girl over there.” By this point, Karen was looking almost hysterical with worry. “Hot, isn't she?” I slurred, my eyes losing focus for a moment.

 

As my head rolled lazily back the other way, I mused whether I was supposed to be in costume. What exactly did a waterboy wear, anyway?

 

“Hey baby, do you remember that one time when we did the Batman and Catwoman roleplay...?” I murmured, having to search for a moment to find her face amongst all the hospital staff. “You were so feisty, rawr!” I said, making a weak clawing motion at her with a faint smile.

 

My underwear finally did go at that moment, to my slight embarrassment, and I was quickly draped with a hospital gown. Karen looked worriedly at the doctor once more, but he merely shook his head and leaned over to whisper something in her ear. Although it didn't seem to make her any less worried, she nodded and replied, “If you think so, Dr. Malvon.”

 

With a nod, Dr. Malvon stepped back and finished tying on his surgical mask before moving to kneel between my spread legs.

 

I shifted slightly as the Dr. Malvon knelt between my legs, trying to be joking about the whole thing. “Hey, hold on a sec, I didn't think I had to get a colonoscopy until I was forty...”

 

I yelped as I suddenly felt a cold touch in between my thighs, very close to...well, my nether regions. “What's that?”

 

I was starting to get really uncomfortable with this, roleplay or not. Karen feeling me up was one thing, having a strange man I'd never met before crouching between my spread legs was something entirely different.

 

I tried to sit up again, more forcefully this time, only to be held down by a trio of nurses. And not just the nurses – I seemed heavier, weighted down somehow. Fuzzy and scattered as my thoughts seemed to be, my brain was finally beginning to send out warning signals letting me know that there was a dump truck full of strange new sensations and feelings hurtling my way and planning to do considerable damage to my male ego.

 

“He's six inches dilated already,” Dr. Malvon murmured, standing up quickly and turning to one of the nurses. “Go page Dr. Keans again, these babies may just deliver themselves before she gets here,” he said, before once again kneeling between my spread legs as the nurse hurried away.

 

Karen's face was next to mine, and she gazed at me with a look on her features that was full of both fear and love. “Baby, I need you to look at me,” she whispered, her fingers gentle on my cheek. “You're going to need to start pushing in a few minutes, okay?”

 

I blinked again and tried to focus in on her, and ever so slowly started to become more aware of my surroundings as well. “Karen...?”

 

God, but I had a headache. No, that wasn't right. There were sharp pains, cramps, and they were coming and going.

 

Coming and going? My thighs tensed horribly as another wave of agony rolled over me. I'd never felt so heavy and full in my entire life – if I was constipated, I must have shut down a local McDonalds for a week.

 

“What,” I grimaced as another sharp contraction slammed into me and passed, “What's happening?” I asked weakly, looking up at her.

 

“Oh baby,” Karen whispered, looking down at me as she held my hand. “You really don't remember?”

 

I shook my head. My thoughts were still jumbled, but whatever they had given me was apparently beginning to wear off, and reality was starting to come back in bits and pieces.

 

Brushing a stray hair out of my face, Karen tried to smile at me comfortingly, but it was easy to see how scared she was. “Your water broke a little while ago, just after we got home from our shopping trip,” she said, squeezing my hand. “I managed to get you into the car, and now we're at the maternity ward in St. Armenicus Hospital.”

 

My water broke? But that was something that only happened to...

 

I gritted my teeth as another terrible cramp rolled through me, and it was then that my gaze finally fell upon my midsection.

 

Or at least, what would have been my midsection, if there hadn't been a round and very swollen belly arching proudly upwards where I had been expecting to find it.

 

A yelp of surprise escaped my lips as the last vestiges of cloudiness got banished from my mind in an instant. What the hell was that?!?!

 

Looking frantic, the nurse that had gone to check on Dr. Keans a few minutes ago burst back into the room and ran up to Dr. Malvon and whispered something in his ear.

 

“What do you mean, she's stuck in traffic?” the doctor roared back at the nurse, standing up in surprise, as the nurse fell back. “How can she be stuck in traffic, it's not even rush hour yet,” he added with a frustrated sigh, before again addressing the nurse. “Get ahold of the Myers OB-GYN Clinic immediately and have the patient's records sent over, we may never have delivered a baby this way before, but I'll be damned if I'll go into it blind,” Dr. Malvon muttered, once again kneeling between my legs, only this time I had a very good idea what he was doing down there.

I frantically sought out Karen's face again as another contraction hit, and I realized for the first time that birth was just a word – and couldn't begin to describe the feeling of a real, honest to goodness baby about to come out from between your legs.

 

“You're pregnant honey,” Karen said with a tender smile. “You're about to give birth to our children.”

 

Reality finally came crashing down at that moment, impossible as it was, and I was left lying in the middle of it – pregnant, in a place I'd never seen before, and apparently about to give birth. To say I was scared was an understatement.

 

I felt like a hen in the foxhouse.

 

Screaming at the top of my lungs, I clutched at something, anything, whatever was within my grasp as an overwhelming urge to push ripped through me. “Ahhhhh.....!”

“The head's crowning,” one of the nurses told me soothingly, and Karen's eyes were as big as mushrooms as they stared, captivated, by something just out of my sight.

Patting my forehead with a damp cloth, the same nurse gave me a reassuring smile and said, “Just one more big push and the head will be out.”

Panting and wheezing red-faced, I tried to nod, but it seemed like every muscle in my body was part of one solid contraction that refused to unclench. “I can't do it!” I finally wailed, sagging in exhaustion after the millionth attempt.

There was no way I could do this – I felt like I was trying to force a beach ball through the neck of a sweater.

 

I'd never wanted to give up on something so much in my entire life when I felt a gentle touch on my hand, and Karen's face came into view. “It's okay baby, I'm here,” she whispered, kissing my cheek.

My eyes sought out hers desperately. “I can't do this,” I pleaded, tears dripping down my cheeks from the pain. Karen's eyes began to brim with tears as she met my gaze, but she never let go of my hand. “I know baby, but you have to try,” she whispered lovingly, squeezing my hand.

I strained until it felt like I was going to pass out, but for all my effort, the horrible pressure at the center of my hips barely budged.

“The head's out!” one of the nurses called excitedly as I collapsed back onto the sheets, a newborn infant's cry resounding throughout the room.

 

 

 

 

I shot up off the bed, chest heaving.

 

In the cold darkness, the sound of my breathing seemed terribly loud as I sat soaked in perspiration, my heart thudding painfully fast in my chest.

 

I clutched myself tightly as I stared up at the ceiling for a minute, trying to let my pulse settle down from it's furious rhythm. The bedsheets clung to my body like a second skin, they were so wet with my sweat.

 

Glancing over worriedly, I saw that Karen was somehow still blissfully asleep, and then breathed a sigh of relief.

 

Again. It was the third time this week.

 

I was almost scared to look down, even though I knew it couldn't be there; but phantom sensations still trickled over me, and I could swear that heavy, yet yielding weight sat comfortably on my thighs.

After a couple of minutes, I dared to sneak a peek down at myself.

 

“Baby, you okay?”

 

I practically catapulted myself straight up off the bed at the sudden break in the silence.

 

Karen shifted slightly on the bed as she moved closer to me. “Another bad dream?”

 

My breath going out of me in a slow exhale, I put my head in my hands as I once again let my pulse settle down. “Yeah.” I hesitated for a few moments. “Just another bad dream,” I added, softly.

 

A moment later I felt her arms wrap around my chest, and then the soft warmth of her breasts pressing into my back. “Is there anything I can do to help?” Karen asked softly, resting her chin on my shoulder as she held me.

 

I shook my head. “I'll make an appointment with the doctor tomorrow, maybe it's just stress or something,” I said with a faint smile. It was more than that of course, but even after weeks of thinking about it almost nonstop, I still couldn't figure out how to tell her. “I'll be alright, don't worry” I added, turning and likewise wrapping my arms around Karen.

 

Although she'd had to switch from one to the other, I could still feel her soft breathing as she rested her chin on my shoulder, the rest of her body warm in my arms. “You promise you'll go and see a doctor tomorrow?” she asked.

 

I couldn't help but smile into her hair a little bit. Karen was such a worry-wart, but it was one of the things about her I found so endearing.

 

“I promise,” I replied, hugging her tight. “You need to get back to sleep though, you've got that job interview tomorrow morning,” I added, pulling back slightly.

 

“God, you had to point that out, didn't you?” Karen asked, pulling back a little herself and throwing her head back in weary resignation.

 

“Just trying to take care of my lady,” I pointed out with a small smile, rubbing her back.

 

“Mmmm...” she murmured, closing her eyes for a moment. “You know, if you really wanted to do that, you could just win the lottery,” she added, with what I suspected was a faint smile, although I couldn't be sure since she was still leaning her head back.

 

“Funny funny,” I replied, still kneading the small of her back. “I mean it, you should get back to sleep, you want to be at your best tomorrow.” Pausing for a moment, I pulled my hands back and sighed, lowering my head. “I'm sorry I woke you.”

 

“It's okay,” Karen replied a moment later, straightening up and raising my chin to where my gaze met hers. “I just want you to be alright.”

 

She met her lips to mine then, and as her arms wrapped around my neck, my arms once again found their position on the small of her back.

 

It wasn't a passionate kiss; just something gentle and loving that lasted for a few moments. But it did make me feel better. “You,” I murmured foolishly, and relishing it, “are one awesome woman.”

 

“Nice of you to mention it on occasion,” Karen whispered in reply, resting her head on my chest for the next couple of minutes.

 

“Well, I'm also awesome that way,” I replied, still foolishly, and, you guessed it, relishing it. I wanted to stay that way for a lot longer, but biological urges and the still-present sweat from earlier precluded pursuing it any more.

 

Pulling back and (regretfully) disentangling myself from my wife's embrace, I swung my legs over the side of the bed and got to my feet. “Well, I guess since I'm the one that wet the bed, I'll change the sheets,” I said, going over to the linen closet and grabbing a towel in addition to the spare set of sheets that we kept.

 

“Ho hum,” Karen replied softly, her gaze remaining on my figure as I wiped myself down, drying off the sweat from earlier.

 

It didn't take long to change the sheets – we kept a spare set in the bedroom closet, and with Karen's help it didn't take more than a few minutes to get the spare sheets changed out for the one's that I had literally soaked in sweat.

 

As Karen climbed back under the sheets, I hesitated, somewhat weary on the one hand, but not-yet willing to go back to sleep on the other.

 

“You're not coming to bed?” Karen asked, looking over her shoulder.

 

I shook my head. “I've still got a bit of adrenaline left in me,” I said, bending down and then hefting the sweat-soaked sheets in my arms. “I'll go throw these in the wash and then see if I can't get a head-start on our taxes,” I replied. April was a little less than two months away, and we'd been hoping to itemize our taxes this year.

 

Karen's face as she looked back at me was a mix of both worry and love. “Okay, but don't stay up too late, you've also got work in the morning.”

 

“Aye aye, mon capitan,” I replied with a cheesy smile and a salute.

 

Not bothering to dignify my stupidity, Karen simply turned over and went back to bed.

 

Carrying my load down the stairs and into the laundry room, I stewed in the cauldron of my thoughts.

 

Ever since the incident at the mall, I'd felt somewhat off-kilter, and I had a sneaking suspicion (read: I'm clueless, so a certainty) that Karen could tell something was the matter. The vivid, and somewhat terrifying dreams that had become the norm over the last few weeks probably weren't helping either.

 

It was coming up on the one-month anniversary since that shopping escapade gone-awry, and instead of gradually fading into the back of my mind, it seemed to be intruding more and more into my daily life. My work wasn't suffering yet because of it, but I was worried that if these dreams kept up, that might not be the case soon.

 

Add in all the anxiety and the worry on my part and it was a surprise that I hadn't gone nuts yet.

 

Of course, the pinnacle of irony was that I still hadn't gotten fitted for that suit that we had gone to the mall for, nearly a month before.

 

But then again, crazy as it might all have seemed, I had to wonder whether I was just making mountains out of molehills. What had happened at the mall could have just been some kind of freaky allergic reaction, and like I'd told Karen a few minutes ago, the dreams could have just been the result of stress.

 

I was, perhaps, even more screwed over by the fact that Karen's mother had recently come into a green tea diet in the last couple of weeks that seemed nigh on the verge of fanaticism – at least, from the perspective of anyone not chugging the substance.

 

She'd been on a rigorous green tea diet since then, which, of course, when Karen called her to get advice for my 'stomach pains' got passed onto me. Normally I didn't have a problem with green tea, but after two liters a day of the stuff for the last two weeks, I was about ready to declare unending war on our teapot.

 

Flipping on the light switch for the laundry room, I dumped my load of linens on the floor and was about to get started on the wash when my eyes landed on hung picture frame in the hallway.

 

It was one of our wedding photos, with not only us and our immediate families, but also our extended families gathered around. Standing next to Karen was her cousin Miranda, her belly generously swollen with her second child. All of the womenfolk had of course ooh'd and aah'd over her, and made a great, happy fuss each time the baby would kick, Karen included. When Miranda had told her that she couldn't wait until Karen was also pregnant, Karen had shyly smiled and said she couldn't wait as well, but I wasn't so sure.

 

Far from being enamored with the thought, I was pretty sure Karen was actually scared of it. She'd never told me as much of course, and I'd never asked her about it, but I just had a hunch. The way she'd get all uptight and nervous whenever anyone asked her when we were going to start a family, heck, even the look of detached calm that she'd had the first time we talked about it, just after our honeymoon.

 

It was kind of funny actually – Karen was great with children, although she always protested the fact vehemently. And she had plenty of brothers and sisters; truthfully, I'd been overwhelmed the first time I'd met all of them at one of her family reunions.

 

But I still had a hunch that my wife was scared of getting pregnant.

 

Biting my lip, I glanced down at my pajama-clad stomach.

 

“You know, we don't even have the money to raise a baby right now, and we both are” I paused, “well, hopefully going to have full-time jobs, so it's not like there'd be anyone to take care of you,” I muttered, still staring down at the flat slenderness of my stomach, which, like most stomachs, didn't say much.

 

“And besides, Karen and I were planning to wait a few years before...” I trailed off, my gaze going unfocused. I was going to say, 'Before starting a family' but I suddenly realized that nearly two years had passed since Karen and I had talked about that.

 

Had it really been that long? The last time we'd spoken about it, Karen had just been finishing up her master's degree, and Liv had been about to start high school.

 

“Holy crap, it really has been that long,” I muttered, rubbing a hand across my face. I'd been so preoccupied with my increased workload at the office and, more recently, with Karen's near-meltdown over working on her doctoral thesis that I'd lost track of time.

 

Although two years might have been closer to Alzheimer's than losing track of time.

 

As my gaze drifted back to my middle, I had to wonder – had I really been putting it off? I didn't like to think of myself as one to put things off, even if I didn't like the possibilities that ensued. But still – over seven-hundred and thirty days. What else could I call it?

 

As I stared down at myself, another thought occurred to me. I had worn a thirty-four inch waist since high school, and even throughout college that hadn't changed. But as I began to visualize what it would be like for that number to begin rapidly ballooning upwards, I started to worry more and more. Most guys probably thought of it changing by a few inches albeit, and I was thinking of dozens, but still.

 

The thought suddenly seemed absolutely terrifying, as if my entire life would crumble around me if it somehow came to pass. I was a guy! Never mind the rest of society and the kind of stir it would create there – what would my friends think? What would my parents think?

 

What would Karen think? My heart suddenly clenched as I imagined the look of disgust and horror that would probably grace her features upon finding out.

 

Taking deep breaths, I forced those thoughts out of my mind. First, guys couldn't get pregnant; crazy dreams or no, that's all they were, just dreams. Second, even if I were to somehow impossibly get pregnant, Karen was a very open-minded woman, and I didn't think she'd react that way.

 

Well, I hoped.

 

Still though, there was a lot to think about, and from what I'd heard, now matter how much you tried to prepare for it, parenthood was a lot like jumping out of a window with a condom on – whether you came inside or outside, it still created a gooey mess for someone to clean up.

 

Not to mention our mortgage and the utility bills, how would we pay for those?

 

And finally there was Karen's student loans, which I probably shouldn't even have been worrying about, but there it was.

 

“So there you go, kiddo,” I said softly, staring once again down at the flatness of my stomach, at this point really more to convince myself more than anything. “We're just not ready for you yet.”

 

Once again, my stomach played the sage, just staring back at me inscrutably.

 

It's a funny feeling, being stared at by yourself.

 

With an exasperated sigh, I turned and gently banged my head against the wall a few times. I was a man who was talking to his phantom pregnant belly. Yup, I'd gone off the deep end, alright.

 

As I stood there with my head pressed against the wall, my gaze wandered about the laundry room until finally landing on what had brought me down there in the first place.

 

“Well, idle hands make the devil's work,” I said with a sigh, grabbing the washing powder off the shelf and getting to work.

 

After I'd finished tossing all the sheets and pillowcases in the washer, I turned and leaned back against it with a sigh.

 

I'd shared all kinds of crazy dreams with Karen over the years, and she'd taken them pretty well, most of the time with humor even. And she'd done the same thing with me, too.

 

So why couldn't I bring myself to tell her what was going on?

-- Edited by Loner on Friday 11th of March 2011 07:03:07 PM

This was one of my favorite stories, glad to see it being continued!